I've been in a very reflective mood during the past few
weeks. I get this way sometimes but it's always predictable that it will happen
at this time of the year. As you grow older, you might learn that once a year
at about the same time, you get reflective too.
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| Overlooking the vastness of Metro BKK |
If you've done a fairly good job of living your life, these
times aren't too upsetting. If you've made a few mistakes, it's mostly okay.
If you've made a lot of mistakes, you go down a deep, dark
rabbit hole that's hard to find your way out of.
I often find myself down that rabbit hole around the end of July --- my birth month.
It's important to keep looking forward in life, but that's
not always easy to do. Sometimes you can't help but look back. If you've
screwed back a lot, those looks back can be pretty painful.
The best way to avoid this kind of narcissistic,
self-flagellating navel gazing is to make good decisions in the first place.
That's not always easy to do, but it's possible. I've discovered that when you
are facing a big decision, somewhere deep in your brain or in your gut or
whatever, you know what the best decision is... unfortunately the less deep
parts of your anatomy have a lot of skill in taking your smarter bits into making
stupid decisions.
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| just the three of us. <3 |
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| after the 12-hr train ride from Kuala Lumpur to Hat Yai, Thailand. |
Realizing that my life was stagnant, my 'work-life' that was, I
decided to take a step away from my comfort zone. Literally, it was a step away
but not really that far, since BKK isn't far from the Philippines. ^_^ --- but
the important thing was, I did it. Together with two other friends, Mark Lester and May Grace, we decided
to leave the country to find a more challenging life in a different place.
Leaving behind the easy-go-lucky life back home. Leaving behind the nights of
coffee, tea or beer in the most familiar places where I was a habitue. ...
Now that I'm here, surrounded by skyscrapers and condos
everywhere, I feel like I belong. My system is slowly adapting to this new
kaleidoscopic life. Catching bus rides (some are free :) ) and bask in free wifi signals all over the metro.
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| Metro Bangkok at night |
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| One night at the highest sky bar in the world (my 30th birthday) -- SIROCCO |
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| the Golden Temple near Khao San Road, BKK |
Sometimes it's enough to make you want to take a hat pin to your pre-frontal cortex. I mean, why not? There are lots of people out there who seem to function fine with just their lizard brain to guide them. They're probably a lot happier.
I know I'm probably not making much sense right now, and I apologize for that. What I, as a
30-year-old person, have to tell you, is to make the best choices you can.
Don't discount your gut feelings, intuition and first impressions --- they're
often right.
We humans evolved those traits over a thousand of years
because they help us survive. It'S that part of the brain that keeps us from
eating poisonous things, jumping off of high places and trying to snuggle with
wild animals. Those are the skills that you need to survive in a hostile world.
Mind you, there are people who insist on doing stupid things, but evolution
tends to weed a lot of folks out over time.
----But there are a lot of folks who don't listen to those
inner voices that keep us safe. They're the ones you find splattered on the
pavement from time to time --- either literally or figuratively.
So from the depths of my rabbit hole in this reflective
period, let me offer u this bit of advice: Listen to your gut from time to
time. that might just keep you from having your guts splattered all over the
pavement.
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| walking home from work <3 |
or maybe not. what the heck do I know, anyway?
---lee.
~o0o~
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