The monks, my day, and love's crazy definitions~

 After 5 days of not having to go to work, here I am again, tapping my cranium and check the sanity inside...

 Yeah, my brain's still there. Still open to neurons. Can still distinguish love from hate... pain from pleasure..

 cough from sneeze... you from them...

   I from you.

------

 Earlier today, as I was walking on my way to the gates of Rungruangupatham school, I saw two young Buddhist monks walking ahead 10 steps from me approximately.I have always been amazed by thinking how these people live their lives. How could they bear walking barefooted  on  the asphalted roads baked in the sun? How do they talk? How do they spend their time in the bathroom? How do they see us? How do they see the world? What can they say about falling in love?

And then, I totally recalled the article I read years back, 'Notes from the Temple'. There were some chapters about love and blah blahss. (I did not talk to the monks as what I implied on my facebook status earlier... I just had a conversation with the idea from the article)   I just couldn't remember every line from the notes but it was like this...

Cliche as it is that loving is more on giving...

so when everyone gives, then everyone should receive. It's only about probability.

You're fortunate if your actions are requited, if not, don't give up on love. You're not at the losing end anyway. You can't lose something which is in your nature. It's always there. Nonetheless, never forget your essence... love yourself too, because you yourself is part of this universe. If there's no one to love you and care for you, who will?

----- and my reply:

 yes, it's in my nature... it can run dry when I myself can't nourish it for Im occupied by the task of nourishing others' existence..... and the monk (from the note) replied, "You are human... you tend to get swayed by too much affection for others... once you have reached your ends, you can always fall freely and get lost or you can take a tighter grasp... it's always your choice... choose the deserving if you aren't blind to see and numb to feel whether your actions are requited... or not."

.....and i walked away smiling and realizing...

-------------------

yet Love has a lot of definitions...

   Love is nothing. Love is everything. Love is the light that shines from every recess of your heart, or it is the darkness that extinguishes that light. Love is a mended heart. Love is a broken heart. Love is passion. Love is lust. Love is desire. Love is family, friendship, and romance.

Love is everywhere. Love is nowhere. Love is pain, sorrow, longing, and suffering. Love is joy and happiness, pleasure and delight. Love is the tears in the middle of the night. Love is the arms wrapped around you, keeping you safe. Love is a kiss. Love is holding hands. Love is a smile. Love is the shining in one’s eyes.

Love is kind. Love is cruel. Love is just. Love is unfair. Love is roses of deepest red, the night of deepest blue, the wind, all around, the deepest oceans and seas. Love is sin. Love is virtue. Love is forbidden. Love is encouraged. Love is sought after. Love is lost. Love is what comes to you when your heart is open. Love is what made you close it in the first place.

Love is a mother’s hand stroking her child. Love is a lover’s hand stroking his beloved. Love is feeling the warmth of another. Love is the cold when that other is no longer there.

Love is sacrifice, compromise, and understanding. Love is valuing someone’s life over one’s own. Love is a fairytale. Love is a nightmare. Love is stupid and foolish. Love is wise. Love is a memory of better times. Love is the desire to make more. Love is confusing. Love is crystal clear. Love is beyond death, beyond everything.

Love is light. Love is fire. Love is in the pulse of the earth and the crash of the waves. Love is the stars, the moons, the planets, the universe.

Love is loyalty. Love is trust. Love is free. Love always comes with a price. Love is forever. Love is fleeting.

Love is bullshit. Love is the truest form of magic this world has.

Love simply is.

still I DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. 

SHOW ME.

PLEASE.

good night!

-lee.

----

GROW Kid! GROW!

Just (soooo) recently, I was perusing the the 'wordweb' dictionary application on my iPhone because I wanted to see what it said about this word “understanding.” Some synonyms shared were: comprehend, absorb, appreciate, identify with, empathize, be familiar with, and value.  And in the context of personal growth, to understand is to be willing to empathize with others, be in tune with our emotional selves, and to value individual differences – even when we don’t agree with them. Thus the process of understanding involves a high level of mental, emotional, and spiritual awareness. 

(Wait, s p i r i t u a l  awareness?)

iS it you? or is it me? 

There are just things which are difficult for me to understand people, their behavior, or their body language, responses, or the way I react to their stimuli that make this whole crazy thing that cause a 'slightly' burdensome feeling in my chest?? Or, is it just me who sets multiple choice answer sheets?! And then, by just moving away from reality I placed myself again on the bed, leaned against the wall, kept quiet ( as I had to for my roommate was still asleep --- and snoring LOL! sorry Matmat. ) and opened this netbook and just searched for some good reads online ( since English books and bookstores are on the verge of disappearing here in BKK) Hahaha... no.... I mean, I couldn't find any good commercial libraries here. (Not to mention that this kingdom will host the World Book 'eklaver' this year. I'm like... huh?  ?Seriously? Well anyway, on the other side of the world wide web's superficiality, I came across a 'Psychology' webpage and right there and then I read on. A much better therapy than reading one-liner messages or stupid people's FB posts and tweets and innuendo comments and likes. Oh, I just miss reading maybe... but I'm not the type that would scream like... hey! I have read Harry Potter 1 - 167890! or OMG! the Twilight Saga makes me kilig much...or... the 234,678,904 shades of Grey.. Duh... I read to learn 'something'. Not just to tickle my prostate gland and reach orgasm.

So much for ranting.

Okay, so, to comprehend, we use our mind, to empathize, we use our emotion, and to appreciate, we must tap into our heart (which houses our spirit). When one or more of these perspectives is under-represented, it is a challenge to have understanding and when all three converge, we experience peace… and authentic understanding. We live out what the psychologists refer to as 'Growth in Motion™!!'

Growth in Motion™!! = Self Care + Self Empowerment + Self Knowledge + Self Direction

Throughout my life – starting even before college – I can think of many opportunities where I had to choose to understand situations I’ve been going through or to view them as the other person’s problem. Many times, I decided that it was the other person’s problem. (YEAH) More often, however, I decided to make a huge effort to dig, excavate, or get underneath and “understand” what was actually going on in an objective way. Most especially while I was in a relationship with some 'bullshits' before. (now i'm coining 'bullshits' as 'ex-boyfriends'... who chose to break my heart.. (or otherwise) EVIL laugh. This has cost me a lot of restless days and nights, tears, and sweat over the years but after having experienced life in this way,  I think I’ve grown (just a minute ago?!) to appreciate the upsets, arguments, and misunderstandings from a perspective of insight and WISDOM. And in viewing life from this perspective, I KNOW I'll  experience a lot of personal growth and understanding. (So don't worry, my brain's not the lizard's)

Take care of yourself in a way that helps you experience a better understanding of yourself. A few ways to do this are to answer the following: [ which i think is helpful ]

What I appreciate about _____ is ______. By completing this exercise, you will begin to reveal a sense of gratitude for the people, places, and things in your life. By focusing on what you appreciate, it lightens the load of the problems or circumstances that weigh you down, like your argument with your boyfriend last night! Those petty misunderstandings that you think of them as crimes. The moment that you react like he killed your entire family! lol.  It also helps you to becoming more accepting of others and their differences.

What makes me happy? To prepare yourself, find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. (the bathroom?! lol) Then, take several full and deep breaths to help relax your mind and body. When answering this question, allow whatever comes to mind and express it on paper, even if it appears to be unfamiliar (only when it comes in handy, well... i have my notepad function on my everrrrr functional iPhone! ). I have found that this exercise can bring up some ideas and things that have been buried for years! For example, I forgot just how good I feel when I jump rope! As a result of completing this exercise, I have returned to this fun childhood experience or even... playing CHINESE garter! I also discovered that I enjoy writing and use it for healing and self expression.  Yeah, that's right... that's what I'm doing now. I feeeel much better. Or I'm just so into alphabets! and not into... hey.. welcome to the Twitter world! Find out what's happening to the people and organization you care. Like... Duhhhh? I follow you, you follow me.. oh..! we're celebrities! or.. hey... lemme see the latest sex scandal! Then share the links. Is there anything better you can do people? i have these accounts and thanks to them, I CAN COMMUNICATE easily and I can laugh, too. (sarcastic grin).  And after this particular writing session with myself, I decided to create this blog entry! So, get your paper and pen and allow your creative juices to flow! (Note: if you don’t enjoy writing, get a tape recorder and speak into it or if you prefer to draw or sing, take out your color pencils, paints, or recorder and have fun!)

Remember to spend time alone with yourself – yes, that's why i'm going to the temple now and lay myself next to the great reclining Budhha~! or to a Hindu Temple perhaps?– 

Hindu Temple, Batu Caves

to gain a better understanding of your likes, dislikes, and what really makes you happy. You will feel more compassion and internal peace. You might be surprised at how much more you enjoy the rest of life.

Take Care of Yourself.

sawadee krap!

--Lee.

~o0o~

a Note from a Rabbit Hole~

I've been in a very reflective mood during the past few weeks. I get this way sometimes but it's always predictable that it will happen at this time of the year. As you grow older, you might learn that once a year at about the same time, you get reflective too.

Overlooking the vastness of Metro BKK

If you've done a fairly good job of living your life, these times aren't too upsetting. If you've made a few mistakes, it's mostly okay.

If you've made a lot of mistakes, you go down a deep, dark rabbit hole that's hard to find your way out of.

I often find myself down that rabbit hole around the end of July --- my birth month.

It's important to keep looking forward in life, but that's not always easy to do. Sometimes you can't help but look back. If you've screwed back a lot, those looks back can be pretty painful.

The best way to avoid this kind of narcissistic, self-flagellating navel gazing is to make good decisions in the first place. That's not always easy to do, but it's possible. I've discovered that when you are facing a big decision, somewhere deep in your brain or in your gut or whatever, you know what the best decision is... unfortunately the less deep parts of your anatomy have a lot of skill in taking your smarter bits into making stupid decisions.

just the three of us. <3

after the 12-hr train ride from Kuala Lumpur  to Hat Yai, Thailand.

.

Realizing that my life was stagnant, my 'work-life' that was, I decided to take a step away from my comfort zone. Literally, it was a step away but not really that far, since BKK isn't far from the Philippines. ^_^ --- but the important thing was, I did it. Together with two other friends, Mark Lester and May Grace, we decided to leave the country to find a more challenging life in a different place. Leaving behind the easy-go-lucky life back home. Leaving behind the nights of coffee, tea or beer in the most familiar places where I was a habitue. ...

Now that I'm here, surrounded by skyscrapers and condos everywhere, I feel like I belong. My system is slowly adapting to this new kaleidoscopic life. Catching bus rides (some are free :)  ) and bask in  free wifi signals all over the metro. 

Metro Bangkok at night

One night at the highest sky bar in the world (my 30th birthday) -- SIROCCO

the Golden Temple near Khao San Road, BKK

 Sometimes it's enough to make you want to take a hat pin to your pre-frontal cortex. I mean, why not? There are lots of people out there who seem to function fine with just their lizard brain to guide them. They're probably a lot happier.

I know I'm probably not making much sense right now, and I apologize for that. What I, as a 30-year-old person, have to tell you, is to make the best choices you can. Don't discount your gut feelings, intuition and first impressions --- they're often right.

We humans evolved those traits over a thousand of years because they help us survive. It'S that part of the brain that keeps us from eating poisonous things, jumping off of high places and trying to snuggle with wild animals. Those are the skills that you need to survive in a hostile world. Mind you, there are people who insist on doing stupid things, but evolution tends to weed a lot of folks out over time.

----But there are a lot of folks who don't listen to those inner voices that keep us safe. They're the ones you find splattered on the pavement from time to time --- either literally or figuratively.

So from the depths of my rabbit hole in this reflective period, let me offer u this bit of advice: Listen to your gut from time to time. that might just keep you from having your guts splattered all over the pavement.

walking home from work <3

or maybe not. what the heck do I know, anyway?

                                                                                                          ---lee.

~o0o~

EMPTINESS AND WHAT IT TEACHES

December 2, 2011. Friday

     around 7:30pm, I and Jayn were in a drinking pub along Villa beach. Drinking time again. 'FRIDAY' night is spelled 'REDHORSE' or 'ADIOS MOTHER FUCKER'. That's how self-proclaimed drunkards like us define it. We are not alcoholic, nonetheless. We just love the 'atmosphere' of drinking. There we can laugh like no tomorrow, we can talk about anything... from pubic hairs to public and social diseases. That's how long our conversations can reach. The tensile stress of our mouths is limitless. Laughter at its loudest. Time passes quickly.

I and Jayn

UNTIL we were suddenly silenced by our mutual mood at that time. 

The pub was noisy... with all the remixes that could tear the subwoofers of any speakers in no time, still we could hear ourselves. We could hear that soft voice telling us we were 'empty'-- that something was missing. Yes, for a second, Jayn and I stressed our tear ducts. 'Manang, I'd like to cry', she said. Not a jiffy after hearing it, I would like to burst into tears too. 'Daw ka empty', she added. I never thought she would say something like that because she was busy fanning herself with the menu board while flirting with the handsome waiter who was sitting next to our table.

Behind our strong and gleeful personae lies a hollow body which succumbs to the need to have someone who could simply send a morning text message that says 'I LOVE YOU'. This is just an example.We needed something beyond that. Someone to hold hands with while looking at the sunset. Jayn and I

realized we were 'single'----- For a long time. We moaned for something trivial. As trivial as having someone in mind when you wake up... as petty as looking forward to meeting someone after work.... as simple as having a boyfriend. 

We are not complaining for not having a partner.

We are worried that we might forget the feeling how to be in love. We feel EMPTY. What about emptiness anyway? Is there anything we can learn about it? I suppose there is. 

Read........

There’s a saying about bowls. It comes from an ancient text, but maybe it’s just as applicable today (bowls haven’t changed much in that time…).

It’s about the fact that the absence of bowl is just as important as its presence. That the emptiness inside it is crucial to its nature. The emptiness makes it possible – is its essence, in a way:

“Mould clay into a bowl.

The empty space makes it useful…”

       - Lao Tzu in the Tao Te Ching

Perhaps there’s something to learn here…

So often, when there’s emptiness around, especially when it’s an emptiness of the heart, it’s tempting to try to fill it.

To stuff it with comfort food.
Or fill it with distractions.
Or cover it over with the boards of boredom and looking-the-other-way.

Harder just to sit with it and let it simply inhabit you for a while, perhaps…

But if you automatically cram the emptiness full and evade the anxiety that it can bring, do you also bury the lessons that it can teach? 

Perhaps, a little like the bowl, emptiness is sometimes part of our essence?
Perhaps it’s important to be ‘blank’ for a while? Resting, before you move into the next phase of your life.

Which reminds me of another expression that I’ve heard wandering some artistic circles: “the creative void.”

A blank space between projects, the creative void can seem like a vortex of nothing at all, at first. It can look like writer’s block. Or the drying up of artistic impulse. Or an absence of anything ‘good’. It can be unnerving and even frightening.

But from it, eventually, new and rich creativity can spring. If it’s allowed to just be empty and do its mysterious work for a while…

So how does it feel when emptiness comes to visit you?

Do you find yourself reaching for something – anything – to fill it as soon as possible?

What might it be like just to sit with it for a moment?

TALK TO YOURSELF.

------ GOOD NIGHT ------

    

MY MONDAY AFTERNOON and the NUNS!

October 24, 2011.

A manic Monday for me. I worked for 8 hours again.

I started my 8 o'clock class by 'awarding' my student. I didn't give her an award for having an impressive output in writing, but rather I was taken aback by her lack of simple vocabulary and her lousy grammar construction. Then there went my non-stop claptrap.Well, yes, I forgot once again the reason why she's studying with me. I was supposed to be kind to her. Spoonfeeding is not my biz nonetheless. I go for inductive learning. Discover what's hidden. Discover the grammar structure and its purpose.

My 8 am class seems like a 4pm session. Only to my surprise that I know it's just 9 am and I still have 7 more hours to bear. Poor Leemuel.

My day ended with a writing class too. For the record, It's my first time in 6 years of ESL teaching to have 5 hours of writing classes in one day. Brain drain. From transposing dangling modifiers, correcting punctuation marks, strike off this, strike off that...,. Pahlllesseeee... but then again I come to think, I am a teacher. I should transfer the skills I have. Not a hard job, isn't it? Think again darling.

Around 5:30pm, as planned, I was on Baby Girl's high barber's chair waiting to have her cut my hair. After some trimming she did, voalah~! My hair was short again.

this is BB Girl

A little hungry and tired, Matmat, Jayn and I decided to eat something. As usual, we didn't argue that much for we complement each other when it comes to food. We eat almost anything. LOL. We ended up ordering 'Batchoy' in Deco's. Matmat got 'special' while Jayn and I had 'Extra Super'.

This is how we fill our hunger~

After some time, while we were enjoying our food, Jayn looked outside. With the foodshop walled in glass panels, we could clearly see passersby along the sidewalk.

What did she see?

How could you eat well when the scene outside where you eat is this?

.     A young boy. Half-naked, with sun-baked skin and  with hair clustering with dirt, sitting on the sidewalk with  a rather young baby boy wrapped in his arms. "Look!", Jayn muttered. I and Matmat also looked at them. We choked as the young boy looked at us with his eyes similar with those of a puppy coaxing his master to feed him.

There was silence. From our usual 'dinamuhal' (squabbles) , we were silenced by what we saw. We realized that while we were busy filling our stomachs, there, outside, a meter away from us, behind the glass wall, two young angels were starving. We felt uncomfortable. We had no magic nonetheless. We just couldn't recite a spell that could make a banquet appear in front of the two wretched innocents. We couldn't do anything but tell each other how bad we felt. A few minutes later, one of the women who were sitting adjacent to our table went outside carrying two pieces of 'pan de sal' in a plastic bag and gave them to the poor children who athirst for something to eat. Our hearts, in our silence and in our shared sentiments, salved from guilt. At least, there was someone who tried. After a few moments, an older man with his son sitting at the back of our table, called a waiter and asked him to bring the two boys a bowlful of 'Batchoy' which was supposed to be their take home delight. We felt relieved again. We felt sad nonetheless. Jayn said, "If only we had heaps of money." With her tears welling in her eyes, she sighed. Yes, "If only we had lots of money, we wouldn't be just looking at them." I echoed.

In the middle of discussing about life miseries, two nuns who were crossing  the street caught our attention. As they were approaching to the spot where the too pitiful boys loomed while feeding themselves with the food given to them, the three of us said, "Let's see how those nuns react when they see the boys."

 Yes, the nuns were dressed in their 'casual' attire perhaps, they were not wearing the usual habit and  a wimple...  (because they didn't look like penguins) They were just wearing a shift dress in gray color and a veil. they were off for shopping perhaps.

 --------- THEY IGNORED WHAT THEY SAW ----------

wHY not point it on your forehead?!

They almost stepped on them. They merely looked at them and marched their way on. In our minds we said "mga wala huya:" [shameless]. How could they just ignore those boys?

I had nothing against nuns, priests or any religious leaders, but for what we saw, a clear picture of hypocrisy slapped my soft face. Those people would usually talk about helping others, sacrificing for others, talking about selflessness. They might have turned their backs on the worldly passion, yet they have catapulted themselves into the pillar of lip service. I am not generalizing them. I can never quantify who really FOLLOW their calling and who are those who just stay in the convent for pleasure and be freed from household and family burdens. Hay nakow~~~~~~~  [ that's why i can never blame anyone who never believes in true religion]  pweh!

With what we witnessed, the three of us talked about the reasons why there are  a lot of  Filipino children left suffering. Who is to blame? The parents? For sure. They have the biggest contribution to the plight of their families. Poor families creating poorer families. Unless at least one or two of the family members exercise effort to meliorate the quality of their living, they'll all die poor, and certainly they're just guilty. 

With the RH Bill as one of the pressing issues in the country, I guess it's high time a solid decision be made by the concerned authorities to somehow answer this problem the country is facing. 

What is RH Bill for anyway? Many Filipinos don’t give a damn regarding the issue mainly because anyone can easily get contraceptives from your nearest 7-11, Watson's or Mercury Drug store. That's how they understand this. RH Bill is all about contraceptives they say.  Come on! This is to promote information on and access to both natural and modern family planning methods, which are medically safe and legally permissible. It assures an enabling environment where women and couples have the freedom of informed choice on the mode of family planning they want to adopt based on their needs, personal convictions and religious beliefs.

>HAVE PITY ON YOUR CHILDREN. BE RESPONSIBLE.

I WOULD HATE TO SEE WHAT I SAW. PLEASE.

good night~!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Prostitutes and Whatever There Is To Hash out~

September 16, 2011

L-R : I, Jayn, Mommy, Lesli Kay, Matmat (with K at the back)

L-R: Shayne, Leslie Kay, I, Jayn (at the back), Matmat

JAYN WAS ABSENT. T.T

Leslie Kay too was absent in the afternoon.

How SAD.

(now, it's 9:13pm and I'm damn bored... there's something wrong with my phone perhaps.... I only received exactly 8 messages today. 2smartload, 2 from Mommy, 1 from Matmat, 2 from Jayn, 1 from Yohann...

and a phone call  from Jayn which roughly lasted for 10 minutes.

Here it goes...

------------------

4:50pm

Just 10 minutes before 5 o'clock but I'm off from work. This is not considered 'under time' when you are working at a language center, for  us, ESL instructors, we transfer our skills to the English idiots day by day, 50 minutes each session. Get it? Okay... so much on this, our free car pool was waiting to send us all home. 

5:45pm

Matmat and I reached Robinsons Mall. We dashed our way to Mr. Quickie to have her brother's shoes done. We left them there and we went directly to Afriques' and had our dinner. We feasted on overcooked Pasta el pesto and Chicken in a basket which was was slightly salty, the batter was crispy and a little half-cooked on the inside... LOL daw peach mango pie lang?!

Disappointed, we left no tip.

6:30pm

The escalator going up didn't work, so we had no choice but march our way up to the third floor of the mall and had refreshing iced tea in Chaiz' cafe. Puffed some sticks of  green/mentholated lung'ticide' (I need not advertise here.. duh), and played 'Jewel quest' on my phone as we waited for the shoes to be done.

7:20pm

We returned to Mr. Quickie and got the newly-shined shoes. They were as good as new. Matmat paid for them for only 50 pesos. Satisfying indeed. Next stop was 'Mr. Labada'. We returned for some dry-cleaned garments.

We hired a taxi to go home.

AND NOW MY POINT....

As our taxi traversed through Delgado street, a small house turned into a whorehouse (according to what I heard) gleaming with its hot pink neon light on the doorway caught my prying eyes. I sounded, "Shudafugs, bonggit nhe (Matmat)! ang babaylan sa sulod ho.... Jeya waitaloo sa customer kyor! Jeya temprano pa ma sikangkang! Hahahahaha" !(@#$%, the girl inside is waiting for her customer as early as now.) 

That scene passed, or we were the ones who drove past that scene. Either way, the thought about prostitution suddenly made me wonder. I voicelessly imagined being a "prosti." I tittered. I envisaged being in the prostitute's position. Would I make more money as I enjoy having sex with a stranger? Should I let myself frisked, mutilated, banged for tuition fee?

I don't pity them. I somehow understand why they have to do it. Can they still escape that 'degrading' situation? Some of them may just be college or high school students who lack money for good education.

In our dialect, we call someone 'Alpot', 'Bigatlan' when we mean 'Hooker', 'Bitch' or 'Sex worker', or Someone who enjoys having sex just for the fun it. We somehow forget that we unconsciously call even our dear friends with those terms, nonetheless. Yet it's for fun and no offense meant.

If someone says "Lee Alpot", even on FBchat as a way of saying 'Hi Lee!', it is just as good as them praising me for I think 'ang haba ng hair ko' or something like, 'I'm a bitch'. 'I'm in'. Snap snap.

Well, to justify my claim that society’s definition of prostitution is superficial, we must take a glimpse at the way by which it (by “it” I mean the society) judges things . In a society, there are sets of rules by which people abide. Those rules of course, are the bases for judging what things, or actions are defined as right or wrong, what’s moral or immoral. To separate what’s right from its opposite, a certain society takes into consideration at least two aspects; which are, first, religion (which is more widely used as it seems to be more consistent) and second, human instincts. The former, as I have mentioned, is more depended on simply because, through it, people are more simplified.

In any religion, followers are asked to follow their god’s teachings, practically for their own good. Religion is also the basis for discriminating immoral from moral. Take Catholicism as an example. We have the Ten Commandments that we are supposed to be wary of every day that we are alive. Relatively, a lot of people do give importance to the commandments. But why are we actually supposed to follow those ten rules? The answer to that is the same answer to the question why there are rules set in a society. There is a need for order. People within a certain community or what have you are supposed to live together harmoniously. That’s what the Holy Bible of Catholics say too. In essence, through religious rules, people get generalized. As such, society makes use of those rules to ensure that social order remains relatively intact. For, if human instincts are to be followed, things will just go crazy. That’s because humans seem to have a need to be individuals, and not just people. Which, in retrospect, brings us back to religion yet again. Individualism is, to a certain extent, erased through religious rules. That being so, society then incorporates these rules to keep society nice and pretty.   

Now that I have delved too much into society and religion, I’ll have to go back to my main topic. Prostitution. When that word is heard, people basically think that those who practice it are sinners; individuals who go against God and society. Being that they are sinners, they are considered immoral. But more than what society thinks of prostitutes, we must give more importance to how prostitutes regard their profession. Which is exactly my point. Prostitutes regard prostitution as a profession. And rightfully so, because, in all sense, they experience the exact same things that any ordinary “decent” employee goes through. They get tired from too much work. They treat customers as objectively as possible. They retire too, when old age sets in.

Hookers, gigolos and the like sell their bodies to acquire money, or anything equivalent to it. Or simply put, to make a living. In that sense, they are no different from anyone who works for money. Say, a bank executive, a teacher, or even a nun. In my opinion, prostitutes work also for the convenience of their clients and themselves. And that’s also exactly what employees or any moral person who works for money does. In essence, anyone who uses him self as a tool to acquire money is a prostitute. Only that, prostitutes and what they do are considered immoral, because they go against the flow, while professionals, jeepney drivers, et cetera are esteemed and regarded well because they are moral i.e. they stick with some social rules.

Come to think of it then, social morality is just a state of mind. It’s just there to keep a certain social order in place. However, in any society, there are those “groups of few” who go against the rules, like prostitutes. Simply put, the only thing that separates a businessman from a hoe is an impalpable social concept called morality. But are we sure that those moral people are really moral? Let me ask these then. How moralistic are employees who drown themselves in booze every weekend, or solicit sex in nightclubs or gay bars? How upright are call center agents who commit slow suicide by smoking every time they take their two 15-minute breaks and lunch, not to mention that they also mindlessly pollute the environment? How respectable are public servants who sit on their asses daily, doing nothing to better their country, while deliberately misusing public funds? Can lawyers be considered moral when they lie to get paid?

To call prostitutes as so is to excuse ourselves from our own immorality. Sure. Professionals are regarded well but only because society is biased and full of pretense. Social order is tantamount to hypocrisy. Isn’t hypocrisy immoral?

How moral are we when we do exactly what prostitutes do? As far as I can see, prostitutes are better than most of us. To say the least, they are honest. And compared to politicians, they know better who they need to serve. 

You, Do you know whom you serve?

--------------------------------------------------

Rain, coffee, and tea...

September 7, 2011 (8:44pm)

my mind is like an empty street...

It's raining again.

After 8 hours of talking to and prodding students to learn the language they're dying to be fluent in, here I am, stranded in a coffee shop with my friends. Talk is cheap as what they say but coffee and tea are not. No choice, got to sip my iced jasmine tea, waiting for the rain to stop.

May Grace and Jayn

I and Shayne

Winner! Leslie Kay

My Family

As they are busy hogging their cellphones for games and all, here I am, in trance with my passion to exude what I have been thinking about since I woke up this morning.

MY HEART IS PALPITATING.

I don't know whether I really have a heart problem or I have a problem with my heart... I mean, emotionally.

YES. I suppose I have both. I need a cardiologist and someone who could save this ailing heart of mine. Where are you?

Too much drinking and a little too complicated relationships  could be the reasons why I'm feeling this now. Am I too overly dramatic? Or just an unlucky player who never knows who's bluffing and who's not. I might as well enjoy what is there that's happening.




>>>>press rewind.


RECURRENCE.

     "Like a benign tumor, being lied to can no longer infect me. I may let any lie pass but I may not forget."

---------------------------------------------