As an employee, working for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, a 4-day vacation is long enough to recuperate energy lost. Yes, the Holy week this year was well-disposed to people like me. Like the most, I also wanted to go somewhere, take a trip or be ‘holy’ in any case. Well I guess traveling might not make you as holy as you could be, but somehow it could help you reflect and repent (??? How???)… just a thought. This is how I do it. I can’t think for myself at home anyway. With facebook and movie files??? How can I?
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| drinking on A gOOD friday~! thanks to you! |
Quaffing a bottle of beer, (at the moment I’m typing this text), I realized that this is the first time, in my 27 years, (ignoring the earliest years) that I wanted to get plastered on a GOOd Friday. Forgive me, but I can’t help it.
The reason?
I AM DISAPPOINTED.
I was hoping to go somewhere with someone dear to me, but didn’t. Instead, I spent my time wallowing in bed, which I have always wanted to do. I didn’t even bother to open the bible nor go to church. I felt like I was a very bad person.
Then I realized to think. Pressed rewind. I saw images of my past. Happy times with friends and boyfriends. Break-ups, goodbyes and all the ‘shits’. I felt very old. Fagged. I put my left hand on my left chest. Felt my hear beat, and asked, “Aren’t you tired yet?”. “How many times have they punctured you?” No answer.
If my heart could just talk, it would bawl at me. It would complain about being neglected. It would complain about getting hurt most of the time. It would punch me right on the face if it had a fist.
BREATHE.
I TURNED OFF MY PHONE. What a relief! I wasn’t able to receive unappealing messages. Messages that read “Delete my number!” “Bye”… Why do some people find it easy as breathing hurting other people? I am sensitive. Sane.
REINCARNATION.
Yes. I believe in reincarnation, but not the changing into another form or rebirth. I believe it in a different sense. (who the hell cares about what I’m believing in, ayt?!) It is like being in a relationship with one person to another. Next one after the ‘ex’. Finding the perfect one. In a matter of days, a week perhaps or let it die in a minute and get another one. That easy.
I AM NOT BAD.
I like being good most of the time. I am sweet, but when I turn sour, you might as well like the ‘pickled’ me. Not the drunk one, but the sour one.
Good night~!
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