After 5 days of not having to go to work, here I am again,
tapping my cranium and check the sanity inside...
Yeah, my brain's still there.
Still open to neurons. Can still distinguish love from hate... pain from pleasure..
cough from sneeze... you from them...
I from you.
------
Earlier today, as I was
walking on my way to the gates of Rungruangupatham school, I saw two young
Buddhist monks walking ahead 10 steps from me approximately.I have always been amazed by thinking how these people live
their lives. How could they bear walking barefooted on the
asphalted roads baked in the sun? How do they talk? How do they spend their
time in the bathroom? How do they see us? How do they see the world? What can
they say about falling in love?
And then, I totally recalled the article I read years back,
'Notes from the Temple'. There were some chapters about love and blah blahss.
(I did not talk to the monks as what I implied on my facebook status earlier...
I just had a conversation with the idea from the article) I just couldn't
remember every line from the notes but it was like this...
Cliche as it is that loving is more on giving...
so when everyone gives, then everyone should receive. It's
only about probability.
You're fortunate if your actions are requited, if not, don't
give up on love. You're not at the losing end anyway. You can't lose
something which is in your nature. It's always there. Nonetheless, never forget
your essence... love yourself too, because you yourself is part of this
universe. If there's no one to love you and care for you, who will?
----- and my reply:
yes, it's in my
nature... it can run dry when I myself can't nourish it for Im occupied by the
task of nourishing others' existence..... and the monk (from the note) replied,
"You are human... you tend to get swayed by too much affection for
others... once you have reached your ends, you can always fall freely and get
lost or you can take a tighter grasp... it's always your choice... choose the
deserving if you aren't blind to see and numb to feel whether your actions are
requited... or not."
.....and i walked away smiling and realizing...
-------------------
yet Love has a lot of definitions...
Love is nothing. Love is everything. Love is the light that
shines from every recess of your heart, or it is the darkness that extinguishes
that light. Love is a mended heart. Love is a broken heart. Love is passion.
Love is lust. Love is desire. Love is family, friendship, and romance.
Love is everywhere. Love is nowhere. Love is pain, sorrow,
longing, and suffering. Love is joy and happiness, pleasure and delight. Love
is the tears in the middle of the night. Love is the arms wrapped around you,
keeping you safe. Love is a kiss. Love is holding hands. Love is a smile. Love
is the shining in one’s eyes.
Love is kind. Love is cruel. Love is just. Love is unfair.
Love is roses of deepest red, the night of deepest blue, the wind, all around,
the deepest oceans and seas. Love is sin. Love is virtue. Love is forbidden.
Love is encouraged. Love is sought after. Love is lost. Love is what comes to
you when your heart is open. Love is what made you close it in the first place.
Love is a mother’s hand stroking her child. Love is a
lover’s hand stroking his beloved. Love is feeling the warmth of another. Love
is the cold when that other is no longer there.
Love is sacrifice, compromise, and understanding. Love is
valuing someone’s life over one’s own. Love is a fairytale. Love is a
nightmare. Love is stupid and foolish. Love is wise. Love is a memory of better
times. Love is the desire to make more. Love is confusing. Love is crystal
clear. Love is beyond death, beyond everything.
Love is light. Love is fire. Love is in the pulse of the
earth and the crash of the waves. Love is the stars, the moons, the planets,
the universe.
Love is loyalty. Love is trust. Love is free. Love always
comes with a price. Love is forever. Love is fleeting.
Love is bullshit. Love is the truest form of magic this
world has.
Love simply is.
still I DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS.
SHOW ME.
PLEASE.
good night!
-lee.
----
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